OK lets try this again,
Don't answer the question just give us something new to ponder.
I'll start

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan . I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg."

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine
until he stuck his index finger up my butt!
Do you think I should change dentists?

At the Moose Lodge they had a contest the other day. I lost by
one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer was Africa!

I'll leave you to ponder this for the night:

The Blind Cashier:

A woman goes into Cabala's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.
She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, ?"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.

At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

She paid it and left without saying a word.

If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bull$hit?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

Why are Softballs hard?

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

If doing everything right pisses your wife off will doing everything wrong make her happy or just fat