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badinfluence63 |
Post subject: Points to ponder  Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:38 am |
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| Road Captian |
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:51 am
Posts: 1966 |
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Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, “Fuck it, soldier on!”
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
To expect to be perfect is unreasonable, to strive for perfection is reasonable.
2015 Ultra Classic Low.
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roadking |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:16 am |
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| Senior Road Captain |
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Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 10:11 am
Posts: 3632
Location: Orange County, CA |
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 Good stuff!! Just as much truth as laugh - I guess I've been there and done that more than I realize... 
You can have it cheap.
You can have it fast.
You can have high quality.
PICK ANY 2....
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lenny82 |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:13 pm |
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Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:20 am
Posts: 586 |
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roadking wrote: Good stuff!! Just as much truth as laugh - I guess I've been there and done that more than I realize... +1 I especially like the one about the suicide!
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Kickstand |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:36 pm |
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Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:01 pm
Posts: 558 |
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Funny stuff.
“In the high country of the mind one has to become adjusted to the thinner air of uncertainty...”
― Robert M. Pirsig
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roadking |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 11:11 am |
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| Senior Road Captain |
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Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 10:11 am
Posts: 3632
Location: Orange County, CA |
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badinfluence63 wrote: I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could spell disaster. OR if it comes out in a different order I might just spell ASTERIDS... now that would be a sight!!
You can have it cheap.
You can have it fast.
You can have high quality.
PICK ANY 2....
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badinfluence63 |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:48 pm |
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:51 am
Posts: 1966 |
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Did I post this already?
| Attachments: |
sex.jpg [ 19 KiB | Viewed 6792 times ]
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To expect to be perfect is unreasonable, to strive for perfection is reasonable.
2015 Ultra Classic Low.
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roadking |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:12 am |
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| Senior Road Captain |
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Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 10:11 am
Posts: 3632
Location: Orange County, CA |
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badinfluence63 wrote: Did I post this already? Yeah you did - but - it is still very funny
You can have it cheap.
You can have it fast.
You can have high quality.
PICK ANY 2....
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badinfluence63 |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:57 pm |
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| Road Captian |
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:51 am
Posts: 1966 |
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Thats it....beginning stages of alzheimers. 
To expect to be perfect is unreasonable, to strive for perfection is reasonable.
2015 Ultra Classic Low.
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roadking |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 10:08 am |
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| Senior Road Captain |
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Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 10:11 am
Posts: 3632
Location: Orange County, CA |
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badinfluence63 wrote: Thats it....beginning stages of alzheimers. I'm hoping when I get there - I can forget all the BS in my life first.
You can have it cheap.
You can have it fast.
You can have high quality.
PICK ANY 2....
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badinfluence63 |
Post subject: Re: Points to ponder Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 9:01 pm |
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:51 am
Posts: 1966 |
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Dude..thats one of the perks. Use to I would get upset about somthing and it would stick in my craw for days even weeks. Now in less than hours its forgotten,lol. True!
To expect to be perfect is unreasonable, to strive for perfection is reasonable.
2015 Ultra Classic Low.
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